If 'Facebook' was born in India...

I am no Mark Zuckerburg, but yeah... suddenly got this idea last night while browsing in FB... Had Facebook been born in India how will it be ;) So it triggered n number of imaginations and I decided to blog my thoughts about Facebook in Desi Sshtyle. So here we go...

First of all "Wall" concept is very foreign... We, Indians don't have the habbit of writing anything on the wall ..We just stick posters on the wall you see ;) So we'll change "wall" into "blackboard"... As we are grown up watching teachers writing on blackboard and of-course class-representatives writing talkative names...We have always loved the chance and power to write on it and would have grabbed colourful chalk-pieces to do the same ;) So here we go... Each will be provided with a virtual blackboard where people can chalk their thoughts ;)

Next, the button 'like' needs modification...The word 'like' never represents our feeling exactly! When our friend makes us listen to a new track by A.R. Rahman, we listen and never say like.... We use either superlative degree or a comparative degree... Comparative degree is often used! We say its good but don't you think Illayaraja was better ;) When it comes to sports or movies, when we like a hero or a sportstar, we make them a demiGod or build a temple or atleast put a cutout or banner and do a milk abhishekam for him. So just "like" is never sufficient for us! We need so many such options (super with a 3 symbol in fingers icon/compared to '____' its better/demiGod/milk abhishekam) to bring out our real feel ;) :lol:

"Share" we never easily do that.When there is a message that is meant to be told to all, we'll forget for sure and will never share... But if its a secret, we'll atleast tell it to 1 person instructing that person not to tell anybody ;) The chain continues, if we don't tell anybody our head will burst ;) so the 'share' button should be "shhh...secret" and on clicking on that it should get posted .. oops :oops: I mean chalked on the respective person's blackboard ;)

In India, we are taught not to pass "comments" at anybody right from childhood... So passing comments is considered bad in India! ;) So we'll have to remove the option of comments and include "open to suggestions".. But we only accept selective suggestions and not all... Actually we don't accept any suggestions ;) never mind...we'll put up  this option and disable it later when they suggest :evil: ;)

We'll add a  new button called "Dub in native language" (with a list of languages in India)... We are fond of watching anything and everything in native language... This will be very useful for our directors and actors during remakes ;)

The word "status" will lead to a lot of controversies... As we believe "all are equal" and shouldn't discriminate any section... So, we'll have to think of a suitable replacement for "status message"... In order to qualify as a perfect desi style social network... it has to definitely have an element called Rajini in it for sure ;)  so we'll replace "status message" with "punch dialogue"and a Rajini icon by its side... ;) Ahaan now its 99% desi-fied :lol:

We never "poke" anybody to get attention...In our desi-ssshtyle we'll "smile"...India is known for its variety of smiles as Madhuri Dixit says in an ad... So "smile" will be the best replacement for us :) (We also use a lot of smilies you see ;) )

A button called "Treat?" is a must... We ask treat for every reason that could be found...Even if a friend falls down, we'll ask treat ;)  By clicking this button, you'll send a request to your friend...If he/she accepts he'll be redirected to an e-order page of a restaurant and will be allowed to fix a budget and can pay online...Your friend can order within the budget and finish off his treat without moving out anywhere ;)

A column for "news and politics" can attract all the Indian men and column for "homemade beauty tips", "recipes" , "leading saas-bahu serial's stories" can attract the female crowd... So now this social network is customized for all age-groups!

Finally, the big thing, a suitable name..."Facebook"...Already kids have many books to study in India... Why should we scare them more? lets remove "book" from it..Only "face" remains..It sounds like a scolding! If somebody asks you "what are you browsing?"..when you reply "face" it will definitely sound rude :( So... lets think.... think...think... What are we very much interested about? "Cricket",..."Movies"...Hmmmm... Yes :D Got the answer... We are very curious to know about what's happening at our neighbour's place ... Even when there is a power-cut we'll look at our neighbour's house...If no power there, we'll have a 1000 watt smile else it will be disappointment to the power n ;) So the best name for this site is "Your Neighbour" ... So that we'll always be interested to know whats happening there ! ;) :lol:

"Your Neighbour" will be launched soon... Ideas are welcome before it is launched :) Best ideas will get 50%* off at your nearby tea-stall ;) :lol:

*Offer valid only till stocks last ;)

The Great Indian Filter 'kaapi'

Long long a ago, so long ago, nobody knows how long ago, a brown traveller who originated in Yemen, travelled far and wide and finally reached India in the late 1600's...Yes, our very own Mr. Bean! No, we are not talking about Rowan Atkison(our pogo Mr. Bean), its the original bean, the Coffee Bean (lets name him CBean) ;)
So after reaching India, our hero, Cbean, instructed his followers, ABean and RBean (Arabica and Robusta) to invade every house and mesmerize them! As per their leader's order they entered every Indian kitchen and so coffee got 'desi'fied and became filter 'Kaapi' in India :P
Since time immemorial, Kousalya Supraja Rama Purva Sandya pravarthate and Filter 'kaapi' became part and parcel of the daily morning routine (Oops! I forgot the newspaper ;) )

Serving this Great Indian filter 'Kaapi' is also an art that requires expertise ;) Coffee is typically served after pouring back and forth between the dabarah (a wide metal saucer with lipped walls) and the tumbler(the matching cup for this saucer) in huge arc-like motions of the hand. This serves several purposes: mixing the ingredients (including sugar) thoroughly; cooling the hot coffee down to a sipping temperature... (Phew! made it sound like a weird science experiment...is it? ).The temperature, the foam on top and the aroma, everything should be perfect in order for it to qualify as the perfect 'filter' kaapi.

Drinking also needs an expert's guidance(that's mine ;) )...I'll impart this gyan to you later ;)
I came across this term 'degree' coffee many a time... In a quest to seek the eternal knowledge I queried my mom (the 'kitchen' guru ;) ) its meaning. This was the answer I got "When coffee is decocted for the first time, it is called as the first degree or simply as the "Degree Coffee". This has the strongest flavour and the necessary strength to mix with milk without watering down the taste. When coffee was decocted for a second or third time from the same initial load; this became the second degree coffee and naturally, is not as strong."

Now back to our CBean story... After ruling India for hundreds and hundreds of years... all of a sudden many rivals started competing... health drinks, soft drinks, health/soft drinks... what not! Thank God our CBean had got desi-fied long ago... he now was a typical Indian hero...so 1 hero fighting with so many villains became easy now(we'll have an Indianised 007 BGM here for this fight ;) ) He started fighting with all the villains by introducing many weapons like Cappuccino, esspreso, cold coffee, black coffee,instant coffee etc..Dishoom Dishoom :evil:..All lost the battle and our hero continued his rule! His kingdom lived happily ever after ;)
Right from Koffee with Karan to Surya-Jyothika's Sunrise coffee ad, all leading celebrities use our CBean charisma to attract our Indian audience...I am no different...Am sure..Now you must have understood why my theme and header image is CBeans ;) Popularizing my blog you see ;) 

Ssshhh....Silence...Board exams are Approaching

Whats making news these days? People who read newspaper that makes 'sense' will answer "Long scheduled power-cuts, UP elections..." Readers of 'sensation'-al newspaper- " Genelia- Rithesh marriage, Chennai Rhinos-Karnataka Bulldozer's feud " Well... Both of you are wrong ( Planning to make this as an ad to get an end to the ad- war;) ) Anyways... The talk of the nation...Right now...How to Crack the Board Exam?

The best way to get many readers to your blog is by giving your post titles "How to Crack Board Exam without any Preparation", "Tips to become a topper this board exam"... Trust me your blog will get 1000s and 1000s of views.So why are we so obsessed with board exams?

When a kid is appearing for board exam that current year, a gloomy,tensed atmosphere sets in the entire house...As if the child is going to fight at the Indian border! TV cut, games cut, outings cut, computer cut,even talking cut...the entire house talks in whispers! The worst part is if the kid has a younger brother or sister. That kid (even if he's in primary classes)will be moulded (threatened) about board exams from that very moment.

When the exams are just a month away,like now,...media starts cashing in...The kid who'll be studying in a closed room, made sound proof(literally locked away from the entire world) will be suddenly called outside by   his parents...as they would have noticed a programme in TV "Expert's guidance on Cracking the board exam"...The expert will keep replying to all the queries "Stay calm" making the kid even more nervous. When there is an advertisement in between (the kid will be heaving a sigh of relief), the kid won't be spared then too.... Magazines that boast of giving out 80% of questions that will appear in these exams as mock papers, health drinks that make your kid sharper, sharper and only sharper ( words like taller, stronger are not required now ;) ), pens that make answers flow through them...so on!

Even Gods won't be spared from this Board-exam fever... Every kid and every parent of these kids, appearing for board exams, will visit every possible temples(that people didn't know even existed) offering high bribes to God and signing a deal with Him for passing their kid as a topper (wonder how God can make every kid, a topper...Uffff!) 

If the kid goes out of the house, for a peaceful stroll... right from auto-rikshaw walas to next door uncle, everybody will have suggestions for him-"Hey Board exams...Its your life! Do well"...Even the road-side flute-seller will stop his "Pardesi, Pardesi Jaana Nahi" tune to give his piece of advice ;) The panic-stricken kid will rush back home to his books...

Does Board exams need such a big hype that the kids dread it as nightmares?Isn't it just another exam?... It is only due to this unnecessary hype, the students get pressurized and are driven to extreme steps when they are not able to meet these expectations... 

Just start treating it as yet another exam and then look at the results... The students perform better under less pressure... Ahaan, now even am planning to name this post.."Tip to crack Board exams..At the end of this post"  ;)

Aacharya Devo Bhava

"Goooood mooooorrrrrningggggg maaaaa'aaaam","Thaaaaank youuuuu maaaaa'aaam" :lol:

Don't give such looks... Am alright... Absolutely fine :) I was reminded of my school days... Am sure everyone of us has done this sing-song morning wish in our school days. Doesn't it bring a smile when you think about it? Even am smiling while writing this :)...(getting weird looks from people around ;) )

Teachers have been a very important part of school as well as college memories.. Remember the advertisement of a jam.. A small boy asks his dad whether his teacher hasn't taught him.."Sharing" !!! teachers influence the kids...especially in the early stages a lot... I still remember when I was in Kindergarten ,a teacher once gave the entire class, a form and instructed us, not to fold the form and bring it back, the next day signed by your parents... She mentioned the form should be as neat as it is now.... I had my form in my hand(didn't put it in my bag as I didn't want to fold) and safe-guarded it till I reached home... Next day I made a huge scene when my mom tried to fold the form and keep it in my bag.. I took the form back to my school...The teacher patted my back for having brought the form so neatly..That "good" from her made me smile the entire day :)

I was shifted to a different school during my 3rd class.. Everything was new to me... All looked at me  like I was an alien from different planet... But the teachers who handled my class comforted me, made my classmates talk to me,made me(new-comer) a class-rep and made me feel like its my place...the very first day! On the second day, we had drawing hour and were asked to sketch anything of our choice... I drew a scenery(yes.. the same mountains, sun between them, few birds in the sky, a hut and few trees 8) )The teacher showed my drawing to the entire class..That made me feel very proud and in fact I started to enjoy going to that school!

In my 7th class, I got a class teacher who also handled English... Till that day, I felt English was the easiest subject and never used to study much for it! She was one of the strictest teacher, I have ever met... We all used to sit terrorized when she enters the class... She is a person who expects perfection in everything... She gave me a different dimension... I started reading books, writing and started taking up English seriously. Many of you have appreciated the way I write... Credits go to her :)

In college, I had an excellent teacher for computer science! She was my friend, philosopher, guide...what not! She handled me for all the 4 years... Just like how my english ma'am molded my writing skills, it is my CSc ma'am who gave this idea of blogging.. She asked me..."Why don't you start blogging?" That made me start blogging!

I wanted to mention many others..But may be I'll do this Part 2.. :lol: This blog is an ode to all my teachers who made me the person, that I am today :)

Lol :D Don't get puzzled... Its not Teachers' day or Thanks giving day :P Just that, I read an article about a 9th class student stabbing his teacher..in the newspaper that is known to create ' sensation'.. (But trust me, am not that dumb...I know who is the Vice president of India, I know where's Tahrir square as well as Aishwarya Rai's child is a girl ;) ) 

Back to a serious note, I was shocked to see this news... A 15th year old boy with so much of vengeance? Will the movies or society take responsible for exposing the kid to such violent ideas? Has the teacher-student's beautiful relationship changed within these few years? Am puzzled.. In order to live back the innocent days, I recollected the sweet memories of my teachers... And just took you too, with me ,in this travel :)

Incident that reminded me "To sponsor a kid"

As usual my day started with huzz and buzz. Got up late, hurried to board my bus...reached my stop just in time to board the bus! After boarding the bus, as like everybody(who travels in bus).... I settled in a nice seat,put on my headphones and started looking at the outside world :) 

While looking out, a very interesting scene caught my attention today. Traffic was slow moving near Sholinganallur signal(as usual) , so everybody had to wait atleast for 2 signals before turning in their respective direction. Everybody was losing their cool but there was one person who loved this traffic jam. Traffic jam making a person happy... Can't believe it right? Yes, a small boy who waits for the signal to turn red so that he can play his wooden drums and be rewarded( I don't want to use the term "beg" ). This small boy was standing near the divider and playing his drums without any interest. Suddenly, he ran towards an auto. I was curious and adjusted myself to get a better view of this interesting boy and his interest, the auto. The auto was school- auto and it obviously had many school children (all almost his age) in it.

The small boy started exhibiting his talent to get the attention of these kids. The school children were very thrilled to see him play. He was enjoying this attention... his face was shining with happiness. He also offered one of the small schoolboy who was sitting at the corner, closer  to him to play his precious instrument. When the schoolkid accepted the offer and reached forward to touch his million-dollar instrument, our Zakir Hussain ;) taught the schoolkid to beat it with rhythm. The schoolkid's joy knew no bounds(don't know whether he would have felt this happy even if he had touched  real drums)The next action stunned me. The schoolkid,immediately, opened his pencil-box and took out a pencil-with-rubber and gave it to that boy. The signal turned green and the auto moved. Our little hero, now left the drums and started examining the pencil with great interest. He sat down and started scribbling on a newspaper which was lying on the road :)  

I just enjoyed watching the friendship and the innocent affection between these two kids. At the same time, something struck me hard. May be this boy also wants to go to school..May be that's why he rushed to the school kids of his age... This thought made me feel bitter. There may be hundreds of kids like this. Instead of giving them money, why don't we help them get educated.When we sponsor a kid's education we are literally giving him a new life. Am not asking everybody to adopt every single kid who is asking alms at signal... just that we can do our little bit. Like, we can help by paying school fees and book fees for the kids of anybody who is poor and stays near( I do for my servant maid's kid) . If we do that, we can dream of India becoming developed soon :)

For all those people who ask me how do I get to find such things on road, when others don't... Well, I don't know too :P It just happens ;) 

The Law of the Garbage Truck

I came across this beautiful story(true incident) and  immediately wanted to share it with you all. Brilliant insight into the way we live our life!

This is how it goes,

"One day I hopped into a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the street."

The bottom line is that successful people don't let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so… Love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don't.

 

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! :)