Touch to order- The Desi way

I read this article about Touch based menu implemented in a restaurant in New York. The visitors are allowed to choose their favourite food along with their choice of wine.

You know what my brain would have thought at that moment  Yes… Bringing it to India  As always, implementing as it is will not be addressing our needs… So first plan is to desify it here in our blog space and next is to locate its implementation in Our India 

The major task is to make the touch surface hard enough to withstand the angry water boy and his water glass banging fury, our junior horlicks kids who always stay naughty, the angry couples who bang their fist on the table at any given point of argument… Ultimately the touch table should be water proof, paan proof, chai proof, posters proof and political party logo proof 

Next is language… Menus should be available in English, hindi and the native language of the place where it is implemented… Does this sound like a Tata sky package?  Never mind… Business matters 

Apart from the regular menu, we must have a button called “extra” … This is very important for us, as we always want something extra….“extra” sambar, “extra” papad ,“extra” plate (to feed the kid who’ll refuse to eat even from that extra plate)… So all these “extra”s will be met by clicking our “Extra” button 

When we order, we always end up customizing the dishes according to our needs… For eg. when we order a masala dosa, we narrate “The making of Masala Dosa” in such a way that can make the people sitting in the neighbouring tables assume that the world’s leading chef is beside them  Right from the quantity of oil, the way it should be roasted…every minor details is explained to the waiter who barely shows interest…. But at last, end up eating what is served… In order to avoid this confusion, we implement the “comments” near the chosen menu… We can add comments like Deep fried, less butter, no sugar etc… but definitely it is limited to 100 characters… we don’t want the entire history, geography, physics, chemistry and biology about the dish 

Wonder why did I leave mathematics in the above mentioned list?It needs special mention here… Yes rates… We are very very particular about it. As I have already mentioned, we are a crowd that loves discounts and offers. So we must have a special tab that offers“combo deals” ,  “festive offers”, “Buy 5 get 1 free” (Buy 5 full meals and get a buttermilk free  ) But shhhh… we won’t disclose this now… We’ll add a simple star at the top and say‘terms and conditions’ apply  In the checkout page, we will have to show some irresistible offers that can be combined with the order…

In the beverages section, we must include the options like one by two (1/2), two by three (2/3)… Of course…We are good at fractions and also our teachers have taught us Shaaarrrriiing   

Once the order is decided and the checkout button is clicked, a copy of the order along with the table number will reach the billing section. Another copy will reach the cook.

Errr… here is a problem… Our cooks are accustomed to get only oral dictation from the servers that too in a specific tone and modulation… So we’ll have to convert the order to audio format… On pressing the button, the order will be called out to the cook along with the table number. Until he presses the button, a red light will be flashing to indicate the pending order 

If implemented, the biggest advantage will be to not ask the frustrated waiter to repeat the menu in the sing-song way again and again in his 10000x speed 

PS: Sponsors for the project are welcome… At your own risk