Sunday 20 May 2012

Beat the Traffic Blues


Traffic and India have been inseparable… With India rapidly marching towards its “Developed nation” vision, so is its traffic :P A decade back, traffic jams are a rare phenomenon , now if we don’t get struck in a jam… its a rare phenomenon ;) In fact, it has become a part of many people’s prayer… to reach without getting struck (Don’t give me that look now… Bit of exaggeration is required for interesting posts ;) )
Thanks to the angry drivers (Indian version of Angry Birds soon ;) ) and impatient passengers who keep raising their blood pressure levels as well as that of others around during such jams… Result : Arteriosclerosis with narrowing of the coronary arteries, the culminating event being a thrombosis (clot). The main change is death (necrosis) of myocardial tissue that leads to Acute Myocardinal Infarction ( Don’t call up a doctor for explanation… In other words its Heart attack ;)  )These medical terms are more complicated to understand I suppose :?
Anyways, so instead of getting tensed during traffic, we can deal with it in a better way. In such traffic pile up, there will be many different people around and of course, funny incidents are bound to happen that can entertain you for a while.
Once, when the traffic started moving, everybody was impatient and wanted to wriggle out first… So when it was a turn of an auto to move… A typical Indian (I call him typical as he crossed during a wrong signal) walked majestically across the road, causing the wrath of this auto driver… The auto driver turned towards the man and started scolding “Can’t you see and walk… I really wonder how people see somewhere and walk somewhere especially in traffic” The auto man was so engrossed in turning towards the man and scolding that he forgot his hand was driving the auto simultaneously….TTTHHUD… We heard a sound in 2 minutes… The auto driver had hit the lamp-post… :P  The auto driver pulled his auto back… embarrassed :lol:
In another incident, an Audi car just appeared from an invisible street and took off to the main road right royally blocking all the vehicles… Now struck in between, he (I assumed him to be an NRI or something) didn’t know how to proceed… Horns were blaring, our angry drivers started pointing their hands at the poor guy… The guy was helpless, his face was paling with every second… I thought any moment he might shout … “Muuummmmmmyyyyyyy”  and start crying :lol: Finally, a traffic police arrived, the guy got down and rushed to the police inspector like a lost child running to his mom and desperately explained his situation…. Finally, somehow the traffic was cleared… The reactions given by that Audi car owner was hilarious:D
I have this alienophobia… :lol: When my bus stops in traffic and when some other bus stands at a very close proximity… I’ll feel everybody in that bus is giving weird looks as if am an alien :? I’ll never dare to look up at the bus… Once, I tried giving such looks to passengers inside the next bus ( as I was bored to always be in the receiving end ), but I got a more intense set of looks… so I had to give up and look down ;)
Another thing I do is, there will be some heated argument going on between the drivers, I’ll mute their volume (plug in headphones and raise the volume of the songs) and observe their reactions with the BGM… Trust me, it will be very very funny :D
Another nice passtime will be to observe people standing in the traffic… Each will have their own mannerisms and well, we’ll be entertained :) If you look around… you can make out such usual people… One businessman or some official sitting in an AC car and continuously looking at his watch every 2 minutes, a girl in car fanning herself with magazines and grumbling, a guy in bike continuously correcting his hairstyle looking at the bike mirror, a middle aged couple arguing with full energy, Angry drivers blaring horns and using “pleasant” language to scold, IT professionals (including me)  peeping out of the buses every now and then to calculate the intensity of jam….of course with headphones in their ears, then… two friends in bike seriously discussing about the cricket/soccer match…. so on!
Next time, when you are struck in traffic, observe these little things, follow my tips and stay cool! And yeah… If you are a blogger, you can also think about your next post (like how I did now :lol: ) ;) ;) ;)

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