The Zorro prediction

It was Saturday and I got up unusually pretty early (early in my standards  ). The idiot box always comes to the rescue even before you mouth the word “bored”. I started exercising my thumb as well as testing the performance of the ‘next channel button’ in the remote  (In other words I was switching channels  ).

If we watch TV(even radio) early in the morning, we can find almost all the regional channels giving a peek into your day ahead. The day to day predictions are so common and it has become a habit for many to listen to the ‘wise looking’ experts and follow accordingly.

Though I put up a disclaimer saying I don’t believe in all these, my hand (when switching channels) or eyes(while reading)  immediately stops when they see my zodiac symbol. The curiosity overpowers my disclaimer notification and finally I end up seeing the prediction. As soon as I finish reading, I completely forget  about it and carry on with my day.

On this particular day, a short and stout guy who  can definitely bag the chance to become  ”Humpty Dumpty”  if we were to film the rhyme, was doing a good job of reading out his piece of ‘discovery’. His sing song tone and sudden raise of voice whenever attention is required can make him a sure shot ‘best performer’ if we stage the play.My brain immediately snapped back from its chain of thoughts as soon as it saw my zodiac sign symbol rotating on the screen in bright yellow. Our Humpty Dumpty started his dialogue delivery in a low tone to imply expect something bad.

“Your home planet was saving you all this while, thereby antagonizing the other planets. Today your home planet is weak and has disowned you. You might face the wrath of other planets. Effects: Your family will disown you. You may have hassles completing your tasks. When you are about to complete your work, you will have somebody disrupting it. Not to worry, this is just for today, your home planet will become stronger by tomorrow. Avoid blue colour as it might invite trouble. Lucky colours: yellow, red and orange.”

The CG specialist in me, picturised the entire prediction in a filmy shtyle. My home planet as Zorro with a sword trying to fight the baddies (other planets ). While this hero smashing  many villains in one hand continues, this one villain planet stabs him from behind. Zorro falls down saying ‘Et tu Lupitter’ (Latin word for Jupiter  ). Zorro has a tough time breathing and hands over the sword to me saying “Protect yourself, I don’t think I can help you anymore”.  The bad guys are closing in with a villainous laugh. I keep fighting all through the day while zorro tries getting back his power. When my sword falls and Lupitter is attempting to repeat his stabbing action , zorro finds a can of spinach inside his dress. “Tan ta ta datta tan…” Bgm plays when zorro tosses the spinach can and the spinach falls into his mouth. Zorro’s power returns and in one kick all the planets fly away. “Am strong to the finish ’cause I eat my Spinach… Am zorro the Saviour man… Swoosh Swoosh (sound of sword when he draws a Z in the space)” Curtain falls!

I patted myself and was quite impressed with the direction. Thinking about my career as a director, I shouted “Amma coffee”. My mom retorted back ,”I didn’t know we have a princess here who has employed servants to serve at the seat. If you want coffee, get up and come to kitchen. Else forget the coffee”. Sigh! Though this scene was an usual one at my home, my brain retelecasted the prediction, “Your family will disown you”blared inside my head. 

I was instructed to go to the nearby shop and get a packet of detergent. I immediately obliged and rushed to the shop (an act to be reowned again). When I stretched my hand with the money, a fat lady literally pushed me and got her things. Finally the shopkeeper turned towards me, “Anna 1 packet surf excel”. He returned the money saying “Sorry ma! we had only 1 packet and that lady got it”. My CG specialist drew 2 red horns and a tail to that lady who smirked victoriously taking her cover.

When you are about to complete your work, you will have somebody disrupting it…. I wanted my brain to stop its selective timely retelecast of the prediction.

The day was pretty smooth apart from the initial hiccups.In the evening I was to attend a reception. I chose a blue dress (Avoid blue colour… My brain sang in that Humpty Dumpty’s voice). I rubbished it and finally reached the reception. My CG specialist was searching for people to draw red horns and tail but all seemed to be good with a ring on top of their head. When I confirmed the allz well status around me I loosened up a bit. That’s when an elderly woman arrived. CG specialist notified me about the impending danger as horns and tail fitted her perfectly. She pinched my cheeks hard and remarked “Helllloooo Kanna” making me squirm. She started playing “Guess-who-is-this game with me. I was clueless completely and when my mom tried helping, she remarked “No lifelines allowed” and laughed at her own joke. She didn’t leave my side and continuously kept showing me people and asked me to decipher the relation. I felt like a captive with a gun pointing at me. Avoid blue colour as it might invite trouble, I heard humpty dumpty laughing with his huge tummy juggling up and down.

When I went to bed, I hoped my zorro should have got his spinach can and also decided I will never see the predictions again. My stupid brain keeps connecting even an usual happening to the prediction. Sigh!